I spend time in daily devotions and reading Gods word. I spend time in gratitude and thanksgiving through prayer and worship. I spend time in fellowship with my Father and I even spend time sharing all this with others. However, life is crazy with two little girls, and a job. I spend all day everyday caring for others, giving myself my time my resources and my energy that I forget to stop and allow God to refuel me. If I'm not getting my fuel from Christ then what overflows from me can't be from Christ.
I've been stressed lately about life events and running and doing. I have heard Gods voice saying, "slow down Amanda and trust me. Enjoy what I have blessed up with, refuel, and surrender." I ignored it trying to keep up with life before life swept me under the rug and out the door. Then there was the snow.
The first snow of 2014 was coming our way. God said clearly, "I'm providing you with an opportunity to rest, refuel and enjoy. Will you join me Amanda?" God was so clear wanting my attention.
The alarm went off that morning and out of bed I flew ignoring His request. After my shower to wake me up, there was a text message from my boss, "we will be closed today. If you would like to work in one of our other locations you can. If not, rest and enjoy." I thought I can't afford to rest and what can I enjoy with all this stress. I finished getting dressed and out the door I rushed. I felt God saying, "I wanted to spend time with you and redirect your thoughts and heart and take some of that stress from you. You have a good day and we will talk later." I worked and came home. I played with the girls. I fixed dinner. I watched some tv. I talked to a few friends and family members. I tucked my kids into bed and laid down myself. God spoke again, "can I have your attention now?" My reply, "God my heart is so heavy and I'm so exhausted. Confusion clouds my vision and Im running low on energy and so much more. If I can't give you all of me it's not right to only give you some of me.
Ouch what a response. If my daughter would have said that to it me it would break my heart into a million pieces.
I knew I had grieved the Holy Spirit and my father. I slept the best I could. The alarm went off again. I jumped up and began my morning. I looked out the window waiting for my coffee and tucked my head down. Snow everywhere. I grabbed my phone and there was a text from my boss. I believe it was God though who sent it. It read, "we are closed today. Rest and enjoy your girls and day off." This time there was no option to work. God spoke again, "can we talk?" My heart broke this morning as I surrender to His request. I engaged in worship and allowed His word and love to mend my heart and refuel my soul. I cried, I laughed, I sang, and bit by bit the shell the covered my heart began to crack. I laid back down and shut my eyes. As my girls woke we listened to music and cooked breakfast together. We cleaned up a little bit and spent time outside tossing snow balls and building small snowmen. We drank hot chocolate and read our devotional together. We were enjoying what God had given us. Each other.
The day isn't over yet but I am so glad God interviened and brought me to my knees and reminded me where my peace comes from and where my day should start: on my knees not on my feet. I'm so glad He grabbed my heart and gave me a day off to rest and enjoy. I hope you were able to do the same.
